The story He (re)told me...

Once I had chosen Him again, once I had turned back out of the dull, apathetic space I was in, toward the life and light of His being, I was curious. Why, when I had asked so fully to experience the Holy Spirit, had I instead slipped so completely into apathy? I went on a walk with Him, and He retold me His story, but this time I heard the part of the Holy Spirit.

This is what He revealed...

He has chosen us, you and me, as the place for His Spirit, His personal, powerful, active presence in the world, in which to reside. The God of the universe wants to live in us, wants to put His power in us. Amazing. But there's more.

He reminded me of the tabernacle in the Old Testament (see Exodus). He reminded me of the perfection of it. He gave Moses exact measurements, He directed Moses to the perfect materials, and He commanded that only the most skilled and gifted craftsmen were to work on the tabernacle. It had to be perfect for His Spirit to live there. Just like we have to be perfect for His Spirit to live in us.

But we aren't. We sin. We choose to turn away, to let our hearts wander far from Him all the time. He wanted us for his temple, though, so He sent Jesus to earth to become a man like us, to struggle like us, and to ultimately die the most painful, excruciating death possible in order that He could take away our sin and live in us. It's an amazing - true - story.

At that moment everything looked new and clean to me. Each piece of nature stood out in stark contrast to things around it. The lines were crisp. He has given me a new story to live out.

What story are you living out?

Megan

P.S. If you want to read more on the Holy Spirit, check out Francis Chan's new book.

Avoidance.

That's the reason I haven't posted anything in quite a while. It started, though, with apathy. Actually, it goes even further back than that.

I wanted to know - really know, as in experience and see - the Holy Spirit. Although I've been a Christian from a young age being raised in the church, I never really understood or experienced the Holy Spirit in a tangible way. So I asked. Instead I got apathy, thick and strong.

I felt like everything around was dull. I didn't want to spend time with my Father, which made me sad. But at the same time, I just didn't care. Like I said, apathy set in thick and strong.

I was in that place for a few weeks, not caring, and not caring that I didn't care, until one day while talking with my sister-in-law. She reminded me (as she had multiple times previously) that Jesus simply wanted to spend time with me. Out of my mouth (straight from my heart) came spiteful and angry words: "Just like everybody else. He just wants my time like everybody else."

Those words and the force behind them shocked me. I couldn't believe that's what I'd been feeling. I couldn't believe that's what I'd been believing about my Father and my Savior. I was full of shame. But in His absolute goodness, He used my shame to bring me back to him.

Through the blogs (and quick emails) of some beautiful sisters whom I've never actually met, he reminded me that I simply need to choose Him. I can choose to live in apathy, or I can choose to live in Him. And choosing apathy is choosing death, plain and simply. Only He will give me life. That's when I chose Him, and He told me a new story...

Thank you to the two women who encouraged me in their blogs, Annie and Lauren , your faithfulness to our Lord is beautiful.

Megan