Spring!

I've been waiting
and watching,
wondering where you were.

The winter was much too long for me -
it was still and strong
unyielding of its grasp on the earth.

But I've been waiting
and watching,
and you've finally come
in all your glory.

Full of movement
and light
and all good things.
Your dress is beautiful,
white with pink buds.

I've witnessed you dancing through the aspens,
shimmering in the morning light
awakening slowly
but finally here.

Hello, friend. Welcome back.

"O Lord, our Lord,
How majestic is Your name in all the earth,
Who have displayed Your splendor above the heavens!"
Psalm 8:1

Lately...

...God has been teaching me about his power. During Easter, he reminded me that his son didn't suffer unbelievable pain and anguish just to die. No, he suffered in order to rise again, to overcome death, to save us from our sin. That's power.

And further, he's opened my eyes through the book Blessed Child by Ted Dekker. He's been reminding me that his gift after his resurrection was his Holy Spirit. He gave his Holy Spirit that we would do greater things than he did. Greater things than giving sight to the blind, making the lame walk, bringing people back to life? Yes, that's what he said. It seems like a crazy claim - no one can do those miraculous things...on their own. But with the power of the Holy Spirit, Jesus says that we can and will.

So why aren't we seeing this miraculous power more often? Even before receiving the power of the Holy Spirit, God gave us free will. He allows us to choose - every decision, every day is ours to choose light and life or darkness and death. I don't know about you, but I more often choose to serve myself than my Creator. I choose darkness and death instead. And it's breaking my heart. And it's even more breaking his heart. It says in James that "He jealously desires the Spirit which He has made to dwell in us" (4:5). He has made his spirit to dwell within us, to fill us with his power in order that we will bring light to the world, and yet I continually choose my own way, my own path. When I don't follow his Spirit, he can't work his power through me.

As he was showing me all of this beautiful, hard truth, he gave me the most precious vision of his power. I woke up last week to light. It was like just outside my vision, just past the edges, there was real light shining in. Hope took residence in my soul, and I was full of joy and full of his Spirit. He showed me what it's like when I choose him.

(I'm not saying it's easy and shiny all the time walking with God. He doesn't ever tell us this. He tells us we have to die to ourselves, turn our back on our earthly desires. But like Dumbledore says in Harry Potter, there comes a time when you must choose between what is right and what is easy. And God certainly does give us hope and joy and peace and promise in the midst of the struggle and the pain.)

There is real power in this world to change things for the good. That power resides in Jesus Christ. When we choose him and follow where he's going, we will truly see what the early church saw - greater things than even Jesus did through the power of his Holy Spirit. So...where is his Spirit leading you?


The sunrise on my way to school last week.

Opening my eyes

I just got back from Napa (my first trip), and it was amazing. So you'd probably think that I'd have pictures and fun details to share. I do...just not today. Today, I have some other insight into my life.

Lately, God's been opening my eyes to my sinfulness. He's showing me how I am judgmental, how I choose distraction over being with Him, how I wander from Him every time, how I am unfaithful.

For most of my life, I haven't felt like a sinner. I truly thought that I was loyal and faithful, open and honest, dedicated to Him, and I definitely didn't judge others. I knew I wasn't perfect, but I certainly was good enough. This was the lie that I was believing.

I have realized that I am a sinner. Romans 3:23 says, "for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God." I will never be good enough when I'm compared to God. And He's diligently showing me this in small and big ways. He really is opening my eyes to my own sin, my own issues, to how I fall short of Him and His plan for me every day.

And yet, it is good news. He has forgiven me. He has covered my sin - my ugly, nasty sin - with His pure blood. But I still must choose to turn to Him, to follow Him. I must choose Him in each of those moments when I realize how gross I really am on my own. And He'll be there. He'll be the voice saying, "'This is the way, walk in it,' whenever I turn to the right or to the left" (Isaiah 30:21).

What has He been opening your eyes to lately?

Megan

Beautiful - a Saturday revelation

I was in a pre-institute meeting today for the National Writing Project. During the afternoon session, we participated in a teaching demonstration. My group got to read the book "Beautiful," a children's book, and work toward our own definition of beautiful.

On my way to the definition, I described the windows in my house as beautiful because they allow me to look out to the world. Through them, I am brought out of myself and into the world and creation. I called them beautiful because they draw you in without demanding your attention.

And I realized that I am much like a window - or I should be anyway. I should be the glass through which my neighbors, friends, and acquaintances see God. My relationship with Him should draw them in without demanding their attention so that their attention can rightly go to Him.

That's when I came to my definition of the word "beautiful." I think that something (or someone) is beautiful when it fulfills its purpose. Paintings are beautiful because they bring light, color, perspective, and joy to viewers, for which they are meant. Books are beautiful because they allow you to hear other people's stories (whether real or not) and find a fuller meaning out of life. I am beautiful when I come in close to Him and reveal His love by loving those around me.

I don't quite know how this looks, yet. I'm still praying through what it means and how I go about loving (relentlessly!) those around me. But, oh, how I want to be beautiful.

Where do you find beauty? Where do you find purpose?

Megan

Mantra

Love relentlessly.

These two words caught me tonight. As a follower of Christ, I am called to love relentlessly. But more often than not (way more often) I don't follow that way. Instead, I find myself thinking only about me. I find in myself a wholly self-centered attitude. The question running through the back of my mind is usually how will this benefit me?

Love relentlessly.

It keeps coming back. And I fall short each time because I can't even try hard enough to come close. My pastor said the other Sunday that when we get to a point of saying, "I can't do this by myself," then we're at a place where God can actually work in our lives. So that's where I am. On my own, I am not filled with love. I can't do this by myself. And yet, I am called...

Love relentlessly.

Which means there is a way. With Christ, it is possible to love relentlessly.

In love, Megan

Three unrelated things...

First to the important thing - what God's been teaching me. Lately, He's been really emphasizing the point in my life to draw near and lean into Him. Right now I'm in a time of waiting on Him which has been hard and painful and so rewarding at the same time. But as I wait, I have the tendency to want to get busy, and so I distract myself from the purpose He's called me to. But a few days ago He reminded me to be still and simply know that He is God.

And in that moment of surrender and letting go to go to Him, I remembered that He really is God. He is in control. He has a plan, and it's good. I don't have to worry about getting everything in the right place because He's already doing that. When I actually still my anxious heart and turn back to the one who created everything, I can breath easier because I know that He's working all things together for the good of us who believe.

The second thing is a smaller celebration. I started my first sewing project. It's an easy one to begin - just a simple hemming of our drapes. But I'm going to use the leftover scraps to make original window treatments for our small bedroom windows. I'll post a picture when I'm finished.

The third unrelated thing is this...
My African Violets are blooming and sparkling in an unbelievable way. Just when I'm so sick of winter I can hardly stand it, God gives a little piece of grace and beauty.

Now, to you. What has God been teaching you lately? Has He drawn you into a new place in Him? What are you celebrating right now - big or little? What's one thing that surprised you this week in a lovely way?

Allow yourself to be swept away by the beauty of truth and creation.

Megan

New Beginnings

It’s almost spring, and my world is filled with new beginnings. For one thing, I’ve started this blog. It seems a small, trifle thing, but the more I think about it, the more excited I become. I want to create, share, and venture further out into this world – even when I’m not able to leave my own little couch.

Which leads me to another beginning. My new writing “table.” My husband’s generous mother passed along this lovely antique chest that now sits in our living room. It’s amazing how much space (not literal square footage, but metaphorical, emotional influence) one piece of furniture can occupy. It really changes our entire room and whispers of an older world, one without the hustle and bustle; one with adventure and journeying; one with new sights and sounds; one without internet, certainly, but with just as much (or possibly more) connection to others.

And more? A new (actually old) sewing machine to be used in many new, crafty ways. I’ve been reading Anna Maria Horner’s blog, which has inspired me in more than a few ways to begin creating anything and everything. My machine is patiently waiting new hands (mine) to revitalize it and bring life and beauty again. So…I’m off to sew.


Enjoy the possibility of new beginnings,
Megan